Stephen Fry, 67, reveals being gay felt like there was ‘a horror inside him’ when he was teenager and admits that pals poked fun at his ‘celibacy’

Stephen Fry has opened up on being gay as a teenager and revealed he used to be known as ‘celibate Stephen’.

the actor, 67, publicly came out as gay in the 1980s and has been open about his sexuality for many years.

In a new interview with The Times, Stephen admitted being gay used to feel like there was ‘a horror inside him’ and he felt ‘rejected’.

He explained: ‘In the Eighties, I was known as Celibate Stephen. I was so excited by my work that I forgot to have sex. It was also fear: I always felt rejected in gay bars. I couldn’t dance; I didn’t look cool. All I wanted was to sit and talk. In some ways, though, I was lucky: I lost many friends to Aids. 

‘Being gay gave me years of misery but an education in literature. By the time I was 13 my sexuality was a secret horror swelling inside me and I was desperately trying to find out who I was, what future there was for me. I knew the disgrace and humiliation of gay people. 

Stephen Fry has opened up on being gay as a teenager and revealed he used to be known as ‘celibate Stephen’

In a new interview with The Times , Stephen admitted being gay used to feel like there was ‘a horror inside him’ and he felt ‘rejected’

He added: ‘Oscar Wilde had taught me that it would be a life of mockery, exile and secrecy. And then there were those writers, like EM Forster or Somerset Maugham, who held their heads up high and made me feel that it wasn’t all slime and grim mackintosh people in a terrible world of darkness.’

Earlier this year, Stephen revealed that he does not want to live past 100 because he would ‘hate to be that lonely’.

The broadcaster – who has not been seen with his husband Elliott, 36, for nearly five years – admitted that he would find it ‘deeply upsetting’ to see a world without his friends and family.

Speaking about longevity to Evgeny Lebedev on his podcast Brave New World, on the episode where David Walliams was also interviewed, Stephen admitted that he ‘likes the idea of death’, and it is the ‘idea of decay’ that shakes his boots.

He explained: ‘Personally, I’m not particularly interested in longevity for myself. I’m interested, as I think most people are, in the idea of an old age that is as pain-free as possible and where there isn’t too much cognitive loss…

‘But I am not someone who wants to live longer than the rest of my friends.’

He continued: ‘If everybody – my family and friends – lived into their 120s, then maybe I’d be quite happy to pass 100. But as it is, I would hate to be that lonely Flying Dutchman figure so beloved of history…

Stephen and Elliott – who is 30 years his junior – tied the knot back in January 2015, just 10 days after announcing their engagement (pictured at the 2017 Vanity Fair Oscar Party)

‘The survivor, all of whose dependents and acquaintances have since died. I would find that deeply upsetting.’

Stephen’s comments come nearly five years after he was pictured with his husband, Elliot.

He and Elliott – who is 30 years his junior – tied the knot back in January 2015 , just 10 days after announcing their engagement .

Elliot, from Southampton, met Stephen in 2014 and was initially known as Mr E. before they went public.

The pair are known to keep their romance under tight wraps as they were last pictured together in May 2019 for the star-studded Rocketman premiere in London.